Page 12 GAY PEOPLES CHRONICLE January, 1989

HEALING OURSELVES

Opening Up to the Present

by Fern Levy

A new year has just begun. The number of the year has changed. Gone is 1988; looming ahead is 1989. The one is finished, over, done with; 1989 is open, possible, potential.

But just by virtue of the passage of time and how we mask it can it truly be said that this is a "new" year for each of us? Perhaps it is just a continuation, a prolonging, another year of holding on, of not letting go of the past.

So how can we make it a "new" year, a "happy new" year for ourselves as we continue our life's work--learning to forgive and to love ourselves.

We search for ways to find personal meaning in the New Year holiday. We wish each other and total strangers at shopping malls "Happy Holidays!" "Happy New Year!" hundreds of times! In our language, "Have a Happy New Year!" is a command---like the annoying demand of "Have a nice day!" We make this demand on countless others in the hope that if it works for them, maybe it will work for us too if only enough people say it.

But what is "happy"? What is "nice"? A bigger house, more money, sex whenever we want it, a new car, a lover we can show off at the bar, more things? After all, if we had everything we wanted, where would we put it? The Talmud says, "The right person is the person who is satisfied with what s/he has."

Now is the time to begin. Now is the moment in time to make a commitment to change. Now is the "happy new" year to seek and find out divine purpose, to begin our authentic life's journey, letting go of our false selves, our addictive selves. Now is the time to truly embark on our spiritual

paths, the paths that will heal our lives! Now is the only time there is.

But where do we begin? How do we begin? We begin by beginning. By knowing in our souls that we must let go of the past and we must also let go of the future. To worry about either robs us of our ability to be here now. Where we end up is not so important as how we get there. "Success is the quality of your journey, not a destination." We think and talk too much about what was and what may or may not be when we retire, when we are older, when we turn 50. We must stop planning for the future. We must learn how to plan for the present.

So why do we resist so strongly something that seems so simple? We are afraid. We are afraid to know ourselves. We are afraid to look inside, to confront, acknowledge and accept our dark side, our shadow side, the part of us while, at first, not so pretty to look at, becomes the most beautiful part of ourselves as we learn to become friends with it, forgive it, love it and embrace it with joy and celebration every day of our lives. Denial and resistance destroy us. Forgiveness heals us.

Forgiveness is healing. Forgiveness allows us to change. While we sit around paralyzed by the thought of change, the world whirls around us. Change and transformation occur constantly. If we do not change too, we are the only thing not changing. Life is not a process of being, but of becoming. Life is a verb. Life is a dance that must be danced. Life is picture that must be painted. Life is a path that must be walked down. Life is journey that we must begin.

Forgive 1988. Live 1989. Let us begin now. So be it. ▼

Patty M. and Lisa Rainsong join the rest of the carolers

the Holiday Fair.

Photos by Denise Lachowski

Santa and her

helper make an appearance at the Holiday Fair

Dykes to Watch Out For

JUST

DESSERT

1988 BY ALON BECHDEL

IN THE RARE OCCASION OF THEIR ALL HAVING NOTHING BETTER TO DO, OUR HOUSEMATES GINGER, LOIS & SPARROW SPEND AN

EVENING

44 TOGETHER.

AW, GINGER, THAT'S TOO BAD I'M SORRY IN FACT, IM SO SORRY THAT I WILL NOBLY REFRAIN FROM SAYING I TOLD YOU SO.

WHAT A ROTTEN MOVIE. WANNA GET SOME DESSERT?

SURE

YEAH, YEAH I KNOW. BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS. LIKE I TOLD YOU, I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HER, NOT GET MARRIED.

OK, BUT I JUST WANT SOME TEA.

I THOUGHT

Eat Cake

I'LL HAVE A CHOCOLATE ORGASM AND A CUP OF COFFEE

UH I'LL HAVE THE TRIPLE TASMANIAN DEVILSFOOD DELIGHT AND AN ESPRESSO.

MINT TEA AND A BRAN MUFFIN, PLEASE.

YOU WERE

OFF CAFFEINE GINGER!

AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO CHOCOLATE

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU GUYS EAT THIS STUFF IF YOU KNOW ITS BAD FOR YOU! DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT YOUR HEADACHES AND INSOMNIA.

A SHORT WHILE LATER...

SO GINGER, I HAVEN'T RUN INTO CLARICE IN OUR BATHROOM LATELY... WHAT'S UP?

WE'RE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER...TURNS OUT SHE SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED HOW NONMONOGAMOUS HER SCENE WITH TONI IS.

UH OH! LOOK OUT! IT'S GINGER, WOMAN OF STEEL.. AND SHE'S INVULNERABLE! C'MON, ADMIT IT! YOU'RE HURT! CAN I HAVE ANOTHER TEENSY TASTE OF YOUR CAKE?

ACTUALLY, I'M KIND OF RELIEVED IT DIDN'T WORK OUT I'M SICK & TIRED OF ROMANTIC MELODRAMA. THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO LIFE, AFTER ALL

YOUR PROBLEM, GINGER, IS THAT YOU'VE NEVER WORKED THROUGH YOUR BREAK UP WITH PHYLLIS. YOU SHOULD JOIN A THERAPY GROUP. ARE YOU GONNA FINISH THAT, LO?

TAKE IT I'M STARTING TO HALLUCINATE.

SPARROW, YOU WOULD RECOMMEND A THERAPY GROUP IF I HAD HEMORRHOIDS? NOPE, I'M GOING TOTRY SOME GOOD OLDFASHIONED CELIBACY AND FINISH MY THESIS?

YOU TELL HER, GINGER CMON, WE BETTER HURRY HOME BEFORE WE CRASH!

YEAH, I FEEL KINDA SPEEDY... D'YOU THINK THEY PUT SUGAR IN THE BRAN MUFFINS HERE?

Dykes to Watch Out For

Tête

One by ALISON BECHPEL

MO IS HARD AT WORK DURING A SATURDAY SALE AT MADWAMAIN BOOKS. WE HAVE A GROO-1 KIND OF

LOVE J

CLARICE! TOM! OUT

IN A MINUTE, MO.

SHOPPING TOGETHER?

WHAT'S

I WANT TO SEE

THAT'S SO NICE!

WITH You?

SO DOMESTIC AND SETTLED! CMERE

AND SEE MY WINDOW DISPLAY!

HEY, GINGER! HOW YA BOING! HAVEN'T

SEEN YOU AROUND IN A WHILE!

PROFILE, THROWING MYSELF INTO MY WORK, THAT KIND OF THING.

HI, MO. OH, I'VE BEEN...UM, GINGER, I DON'T KEEPING A LOW WANT TO, LIKE, INVADE YOUR PRIVACY, BUT I JUST WANNA SAY I KNOW ABOUT YOU & CLARICE, AND I HOPE IT DOESN'T GET IN THE WAY OF OUR BEING FRE IDS.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING

GOOD THE 75%

OFF BIN FIRST

OH, THERE'S NOTHING BACK MO, RELAX! THERE! JUST DUSTY OLE SCI-FI BOOKS AND BORING BIOGRAPHIES THAT NOBODY WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. JUNK, THAT'S ALL

I CAN DECIDE FOR MYSELF IF IT'S JUNK

MO, WHAT IS

GOING ON?

THANKS, MO. THESE THINGS CAN BE SO MESSY, WITH PEOPLE TAKING SIDES AND NOT SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER. TOO BAD CLARICE & I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT BEFORE WE HOPPED IN THE SACK.

WHAT'S WRONG?

امين

GRINKO

A FE

OH, SHIT.

575% OFF

ROCKS

LESA

CARLES

OH, NOTHING! I WAS JUST GONNA SAY YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THE 75% OFF BOOKS IN THE BACK... WAY IN THE BACK OF THE STORE...

WV V V L

1475

HI, CLARICE. THANKS FOR THE TIP, MO... YOU GOT ALL KINDS OF SURPRISES BACK THEKE! I'M GONNA DISAPPEAR NOW SO YOU CAN ALL RELAX NGAN. BYE-BYE.

HELLO, GINGER.

UM, HI, TONI.